#16: Abraham Lincoln
- Born in a log cabin.
- His morning exercise regimen consisted of running for miles while carrying two giant logs on each shoulder.
- Nicest guy ever.
- …And he was really funny.
- Really fucking tall.
- He was 6’4”
- Buff as fuck under that suit.
- Extremely well read.
- The supreme master of sarcasm.
- Grew his beard out because a girl he liked said he’d look cool with it.
- During a debate when one of his opponents called him two-faced he responded by saying “If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?
- Was a bigger Atheist than Jefferson.
- Was tough as fuck.
- As a child he was kicked in the head by a horse and then he just kinda walked it off.
- Was a very skilled wrestler.
- Won the support of a notorious street gang by out wrestling their leader.
- Upon seeing one of his supporters being attacked at a rally, Abe quickly jumped into the crowd, grabbed the attacker, lifted him over his head, and threw him onto a building.
- Got so many death threats that he kept all of them in a file in his desk labeled “Assassinations.”
- FUCK JOHN WILKES BOOTH!
(via ouisabel)
